Presidential Very Hopefuls

It's a good idea to compare yourself to this guy

I’d recently been wondering which current candidates admired which real presidents. Luckily, NPR read my mind and asked several candidates this important question.

Fred Thompson, Barack Obama, and John McCain all had a chance to point out the best presidents, and cleverly hint at how they were similar. In a gutsy move Thompson endorsed George Washington, because he “never returned to the capital” once he left office, exactly what the former senator is trying to do. The visionary bringer of change, Obama, chose Lincoln. McCain, who has apparently read a history book, chose the first sixteen presidents, Teddy Roosevelt, Reagan, and Truman.

This told me a lot about these candidates. Anyone can look at some cash and ramble about the greatness of America and make a politically acceptable answer. But I would have preferred an unexpected answer.

I would have chose William Henry Harrison, for his unbelievable courage for, at age sixty eight, delivering his two hour inaugural address, followed by a parade, in the cold rain without wearing a cloak. He reportedly told aides, “I am Old Tippecanoe, and I am the decider, and I am not going to wear a cloak.” He died of a cold a month into his presidency. That’s what I call staying the course.

Presidential hopefuls vie for laughs, votes

Martin Van Buren wasn't funny,

but he was, as my father and all 5th

graders would say, funny looking.

The other night I accidentally watched the end of the New Hampshire debate. (Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe wasn’t on.) After they stopped talking about the problems plaguing our country, Chaz Gibson turned to more interesting subjects. He asked each contestant what dumb statement they made that they would like to take back. An excellent opportunity for them to show their “I’d have a beer with that guy” appeal. (Start at 4:30) Bill Richardson showed great comedic timing. Even Edwards and Clinton managed more than courtesy laughs. But Obama proved he was the least funny candidate ever. Luckily for him, America is no stranger to a president with no sense of humor.
George H.W. Bush: White House guests thought Barbara was the funny one.
Andrew Jackson: Least likely name for a stand up act: Andrew Jackson: Old Hickory. Second least likely name: Old Hickory: Older and Woodier
Ulysses S. Grant: Actually invented the “joke,” “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?”
Calving Coolidge: Created the gem “Keep it cool with Coolidge.”
Warren Harding: Even his alleged Klan buddies got sick of his racist jokes, but had to laugh anyway, because he was the president. Also, he thought running the country into the ground would be a good joke.