Love or Confusion?

How could anybody not love him?!!?!? Oh I will tell you how.


Guys, I am really stressed out. Like more than when my Valentines day didn't exist because of a difference in opinion over whether our Valentines day should exist. What do you do when you think someone is so awesome and then it turns out they hate the stuff you like? Do you just say goodbye? Do you try to work out the differences, accepting that different people have different tastes? At what point does a difference in opinion mean more than taste, and signify a completely different outlook on life?

Point being, I'm reading Boswell's Life of Johnson (sidenote: that book is f-ing heavy), and I love Dr Johnson so much, but he doesn't like Hume or Swift, and I'm really stressed out about this. I can get over the fact that apparently Dr. Johnson was really fat, and he ate like a beast and would just shovel food down his throat without talking and his veins bulged, and I can even look past our differences in religion. But hating Hume and just thinking Swift is not funny is too much.

If you have any suggestion for how to get over this moral crisis I am currently experiencing, please help me.

Note: I wrote this before reading this, which is about a similar topic and quotes a really good family friend.

Week in Perspective

A brief look into why Odysseus would have been a great Valentine


Pictured above: Odysseus on the prowl, probably to buy his Valentine something nice, as opposed to not buying her anything.

How to put this week into perspective? There are people starving all over the world? Some people can't go to school? All sad, but it doesn't really make up for the fact that yesterday at WesWings I was walking out and re-looked at the Specials Menu and saw that I what I had ordered and eaten was the Valentines Day Lady and the Tramp Dinner for Two. Except I ate it for one. Because I am alone. So put that into perspective, jerks. Here's something I wrote while thinking all these positive thoughts.

A brief look into why Odysseus would have been a great Valentine

Hey yall. So Valentines day was a total lame and I’m really sad. My friend of the male persuasion and I had very different opinions on how valentines day should be spent. I felt that it should be spent. He felt that we should pretend we don’t know each other. Anyway, I can’t stop thinking about who I really wish was my valentine, the one I’ve always loved from afar (besides the Wesleyan Men’s Soccer team), the one Athena protected, the hardest working man in show business, Odysseus.

First of all, Odysseus was really dedicated to spending time with Penelope. I mean he almost killed his own child trying to get out leaving her and going to war. This shows dedication, love, and not being a huge jerk that never calls Penelope back.

Also Odysseus was really smart and manly. He sliced and diced them on the battlefields of Troy, and he designed the wooden horse that helped the Greeks win the war. Ok so he clearly couldn’t navigate himself out of a paper bag, but obviously navigating the seas of Greece is a lot harder than navigating to Amici’s Italian Grill on Main Street.

And another thing. Odysseus ate real food, like meat and wine and feast things. Sometimes guys are on sports teams and then feel like they can only eat various Odwalla products, such as Superfood and Superprotein Almond, and sometimes that makes girls feel fat because they want to eat solid foods, including chicken parm, which everyone knows is good for you because cheese has calcium for healthy bones and teeth. Just throwing that out there.

In conclusion, I hate this era.

Friend of the Site Thursday

HEARTS ARE REAL BEATING THINGS WITH FEELINGS OK?!?!?!??!?!?

By which I mean "here is Hans's piece."

Valentine’s Day
By Hans

Yes, its true, the hallmark holiday is upon us again. A time to express one’s love for a significant other through tender and meditated gestures. Perhaps some flowers followed by dinner, maybe a glass of red wine followed by coitus? Perhaps we have lost sight of what this holiday is really about, much like we have lost sight of Christmas’ true meanings (not applicable to James.) What is Valentine’s Day really about?

Long before Valentine’s Day was ever associated with love, it was known as Lupercalia, an ancient Greco-Roman holiday in which young, noble boys would run through the city in the nude, carrying shaggy thongs to strike anyone they met. Women seeking fertility would purposely intersex…I mean intersect with these young boys, believing they would be aided in conceiving. A strong proponent of Greco-Roman style wrestling, I can’t help but be a fan of this ritual. How have we strayed so far from ourselves? (Does not apply if you are not Greco-Roman) Tell me what could possibly be more romantic than arming ourselves with shaggy thongs and running amuck. Think of the children. Think of the children to be had.

The word Lupercalia is derived from lupus, or wolf, which I found fascinating as my only experience with lupus is my chronic joint pain. The name Lupercalia suggests a connection to the legend of how Rome was founded. Romulus and Remus suckled the teat of a wolf after they were orphaned. Personal experience has informed me that wolf’s milk is neither tasty nor easy to get, there are many nipples on those things. As if naked boys aren’t enough to make this holiday truly special, priests would make a sacrifice of two goats and one dog to the she-wolf. The blood (it’s the color of love) would then be spread throughout the streets to promote fertility as well as keep the wolves away. On second thought, I don’t think spreading blood around would keep wolves away, and vulnerable boys definitely would not, but boy it would be cool.

Valentine’s Day has certainly come a long way, but who is to say we can’t re-connect with our past instead of someone who probably doesn’t love you anyways. I know what I’ll be doing this Valentine’s Day and I invite you to join me. You bring the boys and shaggy thongs, I’ll bring the goats.