Personal Ads (Or, how I learned to stop worrying about my pathetic love life and live in a fantasy world of the past)

OMG wouldn't it be amazing if someone discovered all of these lost personal ads that our favorites had written? Well today is your best day in your whole life, because someone did, and it was me. You're welcome.


Clearly we love Ben Franklin. We're looking for someone else to love him too.


Ladies, he is literally made of money. Or money is made of him. Either way, cash money!!!!!!

"58 years young seeks reasonable creature for jolly conversation and much more. Must enjoy literary discourse, a good fart joke. Make me rise early."



Just look at that facial hair. I mean really look at it. Then look away. Feel better? I know I do.

For all you nature lovers, why not try a romantic dinner for two at Walden pond? We hear Thoreau is quite Thorough of you know what I mean (I don't).

"Massachusetts man seeking woman with a well built temple called your body to enjoy solitude with me. Ride my railroad (or let it ride you--really, it's the same thing). Must be willing to do laundry."


Conclusion: live in the past. It makes the present look so much better (invisible).